The following was
written by Reggie Adler:
When I was 7 years old, my parents drove me to Camp Eagle Cove in the Adirondack Mountains, where I knew no one. Being a shy and anxious child, I did not want my parents to leave me there alone. In the 1950’s, parenting techniques were somewhat different than they are today. They tricked me into staying at camp by telling me to put on my bathing suit and they would watch me swim. After I entered the water, I turned around and my parents were gone. Fortunately, after a few homesick days, I adjusted to camp life and my new friends. I spent seven summers at camp and they were the happiest times of my life. When I became a mother, I wanted to give my daughters the same childhood experience. At camp, when you are on your own, you establish special friends, unforgettable memories, and for the rest of your life you can “feel” it and remember what you learned there. Unfortunately, I had two challenges to overcome. My husband was an only child, who never lived away from home as a child and could not understand why I would even think about sending the girls away for the summer. The other obstacle was that my oldest daughter, Gilli, had cancer and, from the age of three, was receiving treatment. It wasn’t until the summer before my youngest daughter, Deborah, was entering 5th grade, and Gilli, was entering 7th grade that they both climbed on to the bus to Camp Seneca Lake. How I envied them. I pictured myself many years before in my cabin. I can still see my bed, my clothes folded in the cubby with my name on it. I remember linking arms with friends as we walked to the mess hall for meals; friends, who all had long, beautiful, straight hair, while mine was short, curly and unruly. I learned to place my finger on the side of my nose, so I wouldn’t be the one left to clear the dishes. I hung my nametag on the “buddy board” hook along with my buddy, Robin, for free swim.
There was daily clean up, weekly cabin inspection and, (ugh!) before the sun had a chance to warm the day, 9 AM swim instruction. I remember my mother laboriously sewing labels into every item of clothing I took to camp, even my underwear and socks. Fortunately for me someone invented permanent ink markers because suddenly it was my turn to help with the camp preparations. I took my girls to the drug store for the “basic necessities.” They needed scrunchies, nail polish, nail polish remover, cotton balls, deodorant, hygiene products, razors and re- fills, Q-tips, decorative Band Aids, lotions, shampoo, conditioner, hair detangler, hairstraightener, hair gel, hair mousse, styling brushes, Benedryl, insect repellent, headbands, barrettes, sunglasses, stationery, pens, stamps, and pre-addressed postcards.
As children age, they
go through many developmental stages. Sometimes, these changes are positive and
indicative of maturity and personal growth. As parents, we are fortunate when
these changes occur and are proud of our children. Other times, children change
and begin to demand independence and display unusual behaviors, and we question
their decisions and the choices they are making. Suddenly, the same parents who
were, at one time, loved and respected, become “the enemy.” The summer of
Deborah’s Senior Camper year just after she turned 15, she was desperately in
need of an attitude adjustment. Our “old Deborah” played soccer, basketball,
lacrosse, spent time at our home with her friends, and seemed to be always
looking ahead. Deborah was a quiet, undemanding child. She was well behaved,
although sometimes a little mischievous in a funny way. She had a sense of
humor and showed an interest in those around her. A self-motivated learner, she
was open to people, although a little slow to warm up (especially with adults).
Perhaps, because of her sister’s lengthy illness, Deborah learned to be silent
and remain in the background. She was slow to smile, and teachers would often
comment that they wondered what she was thinking because she was “so quiet.” A
few months prior to going to camp for her Senior Camper summer, a “new” Deborah
appeared. This Deborah refused to play soccer or any of her other sports
anymore and drifted away from her old friends into a different group. She
viewed her new friends as more accepting of differences in people and showing
their own individuality. Her participation in previously enjoyed activities was
no longer important to her and she adopted an attitude of apathy. It was an
angry, confused Deborah who climbed onto the bus Senior Camper year. I knew
Deborah could not spend that summer at home. I felt she needed to get away from
the negative influences that were in her life at the time and, for that reason,
against Deborah’s wishes, I forced her to go to camp. I made it clear to her
that staying home was not an option. I worried all summer long but I never doubted
my decision. Most of all, I was afraid that Deborah would return from camp with
the same apathetic attitude she had went she went off to camp.
Under the right circumstances and with the right people, miracles can happen. After eight weeks of separation, the bus pulled into the parking lot of the Syracuse JCC, and my husband and I waited anxiously to see our daughter. And suddenly there she was, standing at the top of the stairs of the bus, and I knew something had changed. She was a different person than the girl I knew two months earlier. The look on her face was bright. Her hair was combed into a beautiful bun; she looked happy, and she was smiling. With camp over, all that was left was the dirty laundry. We watched parents schlep trunks and duffle bags filled with a summer’s worth of dirt and other children’s clothes to their respective vehicles. Carrying Deborah’s trunk, my husband teased, “What’s in here, rocks?” At home, we opened the trunk to find it was, in fact, full of rocks. Just regular gray/brown rocks. She couldn’t explain why she wanted them, but she said they made her happy.
It wasn’t long before I
realized that the changes in my daughter were in large part due to a
comfortable connection she made with one of her Senior Camper counselors, John
Aiken. I know this because for the next several months, Deborah prefaced almost
every statement, thought, or idea she had with the words “John said…” Deborah
came home from camp that summer with a plan. I can still hear the excitement in
her voice, “I’m going to play soccer this year, get good grades and go to the
University of . . .” There were dozens of “John said” stories and we were
thrilled to have our Deborah back. John Aiken helped change a confused, angry
girl into a confident, goal oriented, and happy person.
Later that year, a
friend phoned me about the painting that was on display in the lobby of the
school’s auditorium. The painting had not been named or signed, but all of the
CSL campers and their parents recognized that it was John Aiken. The artist was
my daughter, Deborah Adler. When I saw the painting, I was awestruck. It is big
– very big – a painting of a strong, young man who is surrounded by the tallest
green trees and the bluest sky. His face is turned upwards toward the sky, and
his expression reveals a kind spirit, quiet wisdom and a sense of adventure.
John inspired Deborah and painting his portrait was her way of remembering the
important lessons she learned from him that summer. Poet laureate Maya Angelou,
wrote:
People may forget
what you said
People may forget
what you did, but
People will never
forget how you made them feel.
Today, Deborah is a beautiful, 30 year-old artist. A glassblower who lives in Brooklyn, New York, she still has curly hair and a quiet manner. She is funny and gentle and kind. She is a wise intuitive person and I am told by those who know her, a good friend. She still has an adventurous spirit. All of these wonderful traits were hidden for a time inside Deborah; they just rose to the surface and blossomed during the summer of 1993. Before Deborah moved to New York City, we safely packed away the painting she made just in case John or his family would like to have it. I don’t know what lengths John went to make Deborah feel included or to encourage her, but I know he made her feel good about herself, and I sincerely thank him for that gift. The time she spent with him was time well spent. I am forever grateful to John, and I wish I had acknowledged the impact he had on Deborah’s life before now. I want John’s family to be aware of the good work their son did many years ago. His presence made an enormous difference in my daughter’s life as well as at Camp Seneca Lake where he remains a camp icon.
At least one of these staff has been John Aiken to you over
these last eight weeks. No,
probably most of you have not been battling the same things Deborah and the
Adlers were in 1993, but really the counselor-camper dynamic described in this
story is applicable to each and every one of you. No matter how you have felt during the course of the summer,
what is most important is that you have all felt. You have all endured challenge, you have all endured joy,
you have all endured discomfort, and most of all…you have all endured
love. You have felt these things
because these eight people have worked tirelessly to facilitate an environment
that would allow you to feel in ways you had never done previously, to feel in
ways that maybe you never would have otherwise.
I have a unique position in all of this as I have not worked directly with campers in five years since serving as Tusc Unit Head in 2007 and 2008. But this village and program have been my primary passion from the first day I was a Senior Camper in 1999. So I knew when I moved on after 2008 I had to stay involved and thus I moved to the position of guiding the big picture of the Senior Camper Program. I have watched all of you grow up and I have watched most of your staff grow up as well, leading to hiring each of them to be your guides through the Tusc experience – this part of the summer is thus especially sacred for me because in a way they are like my campers.
I have a unique position in all of this as I have not worked directly with campers in five years since serving as Tusc Unit Head in 2007 and 2008. But this village and program have been my primary passion from the first day I was a Senior Camper in 1999. So I knew when I moved on after 2008 I had to stay involved and thus I moved to the position of guiding the big picture of the Senior Camper Program. I have watched all of you grow up and I have watched most of your staff grow up as well, leading to hiring each of them to be your guides through the Tusc experience – this part of the summer is thus especially sacred for me because in a way they are like my campers.
I have seen a lot of groups come through the Senior Camper
Program and been especially close with really all of the groups since 2003 when
I was first a counselor for a group including Josh Sham. Each group certainly shares some traits
in common but there is something strikingly different about Tuscarora 2013 and
I believe strongly that the staff has played a key role in facilitating
that. The 48 Senior Campers this
year as a group are easily the most low maintenance group I have ever seen come
through – you all display such an unconditional love for one another and camp
that I have never seen to the extent of Tusc 2013. You embrace one another and embrace camp, working closely
through every single thing you do at camp. The staff has of course been there with you every step of
the way doing big and little things to ensure that the 48 of you continually
have the opportunities to work together, grow together, and truly depend upon on
one another and most of all, they work tirelessly to ensure that you carry
these ideals with you well beyond your physical time in Tusc. You the 48 Tusc campers have made this
summer but without these eight individuals, none of it would have been
possible.
I did want to make specific mention of your unit head, Josh
Sham, who I have been working with in this capacity for the last two summers
and also worked with when he was a Tusc counselor in 2010 and 2008 as well as
in Mohawk in 2005 and 2006. Josh
was also my very first camper, the first camper I met in my first bunk in July,
2001 and then had him again in 2002 and 2003. Suffice to say I have known Josh for a very long time and I
consider him to be on of my very best friends in the world. He is an inspiration to me and so many
others in that he works so ferociously hard and cares so deeply about what he
does. We are all fortunate to know
Josh and to be cared for by Josh because there is no person on this planet who
puts in as much time or energy as he does. His work in Tusc over the last few years, particularly the
last two as unit head has radically escalated the profile of this signature CSL
program making it what is absolutely the most extraordinary opportunity
available to any 14 or 15 year old in the world. It is not magic – it is hard work, dedication, and precision
and it all starts with Josh Sham.
All 48 of you are better people today because of the eight
staff who have guided you through this extraordinary journey. Do not forget these people and do
not forget how they made you feel.
We need you to remember because we need you to pass on these feelings,
these beliefs in some way, in some place during the course of your lives
whether it be at camp as a staff member or in school as a student or as a
parent with your own children. I
charge you to make these people proud and do them justice just as they have
done for me these past eight weeks.
Do not ever forget how you feel right now. Do not ever forget how you will feel Wednesday
night and Thursday when the summer draws to a close. BUT. Make no
mistake, what has happened this summer has happened because the 48 of you have
believed in yourselves, believed in one another, and believed in and lived by
the values held most dearly by Camp Seneca Lake. You all did the work and have made this experience but
nothing would have ever been possible without Josh Sham, Elyssa Sham, Hillary
Goldman, Jenna Cuddeback, Mike Patalano, Andrew Powers, Alec Jacobson, and
Kevin Snyder.
We always ask campers in the final days to be sure and
remember to thank their staff and let them know the impact they have had on
them. As incredible as it is to
work at CSL, it is extremely hard work.
It is ultra taxing both emotionally and physically such that it is very
challenging to re-integrate with the real world after just as I’m sure it will
be for each of you. The way we get
paid as staff at CSL is not reflected in our bank accounts but rather in our
hearts and souls from the experiences of each camper. As such, the campers have been compiling those thoughts,
reflections, and feelings on each of the staff members for permanent deposit.
Inside of each of these bags are notes from all the campers to each of the special souls who have given themselves to you, Tuscarora 2013. We all know that this was no choice, not for any one of these people; it was a natural inclination, an innate drive, destiny to be a part of Tuscarora 2013. My grandfather always said that you have found your true work in life when you can do it all day, every day, and still love it all. That very much embodies these people and we all hope that one day you all will find that same path, wherever it may be, whether in Penn Yan, NY or somewhere completely different. Just know that none of you will ever be campers again after Thursday and it is possible that some of you may never be here again at all after Thursday. While difficult to accept, we can all take solace in knowing that nobody can ever take this experience from any of you and nobody can ever extinguish the flame of these eight individuals that eternally burns inside of each and every one of you.
So on this night that the staff recognizes all you have done
and all that you have accomplished during the last couple months, I wanted to
close the evening by turning the tables for an opportunity to formally acknowledge
the work of these people. Please
know how lucky you all are to still have three days left together – cherish
that time. Thank you.
Ari Baum
Tuscarora Supervisor
